“I feel like my ancestors have left me a thousand voice notes to decipher”

Abstract

In this reflective essay, I trace my personal and artistic journey as a Khmer (Cambodian) artist born and raised in the Netherlands. Written in a memoir-­like style, I recount my upbringing and the silencing of narratives in our household due to the trauma of the Khmer Rouge. I explore how uncovering stories about my ancestors ignited my passion for art. I also examine the limitations of Eurocentric contemporary art education and how I overcame these challenges by embracing Khmer art, history, and religion as the foundation of my work, especially after my father’s passing.

I then discuss three artworks created during the summers of 2023 and 2024, while completing art residencies in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. In these works, I intertwine Khmer spirituality, diasporic narratives, Khmer-­Javanese connections, and Southeast Asian histories through installations that incorporate sound, interactivity, and scripts. Through my art, I seek to reconcile the fragmented nature of the past—­from ancient to recent times—­to inform my present and future. I aim to channel the resilience, artistry, and love of my ancestors, whose legacies have made my existence possible.